I Don’t Want Time Beneath Skin & Bone

Dear Readers,

I’ve had a lot of drunk nights in the big city. Too many too count, too many people I have met that I’ll never remember, and ended up in strange places that I don’t recognize, because even in my drunk state, I tend to wander. That’s sorta been my thing for the past few years. I disappear a lot.

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But one night, I was stumbling in the bar, and ended up talking to someone of equal drunkness, and things just took off. You know when you meet someone that suddenly pops into your life, and things just fall into place? This is what happens. Another beautiful human being that says the right things, and thinks the same crazy dreams as you.

They never stay in your life though. They come and go as they please, because that’s just the way they are built. And the next thing you know, it’s 4am, and I have no way of getting home. The bars are closed, liquor store not open, and I missed the last transit home by a few hours (And there was no way I was gonna pay $30 for a cab ride home. Fuck that). So, I just waited outside the bar next to someone who was in the same situation (drunk and stranded). Then the inspiration to write came to me. I had to find scrap pieces of paper and a pen at the early hours of the morning (which, surprisingly, proved to be no trouble). And then I started writing like a mad man about the things that happened to me that night.

 

This is what I wrote in my drunken and exhausted state:

Okay, so I am a firm believer in that everyone meets for a reason. Nobody comes into your life by chance.

I met this guy tonight (08/31/14) and he had “It”, whatever that means. He had understood what I meant, he knew exactly where I was coming from, and it was one of the most beautiful moments I have experienced in a long time. No questions, no judgement, just understanding. I’ll never see or talk to him again (as we were both drunk) but it doesn’t matter. For just a brief moment, nothing mattered, just the understanding that life can be pretty fucked up and we were just going with it.

I have met a lot of beautiful people in my life, but nobody has ever understood what “It” that I was talking about. And this guy comes along and suddenly I am reassured that even though my life maybe fucked up right now, that there are other people that understand “It”, and are just going with whatever “It” is. I’ll be just fine, there are others like me.

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We may not understand everybody, but we are here for a reason. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, where I’m going, what’s the “big plan” that everybody keeps asking about, but I have no regrets for what I have done or what I’ll continue to do. This life has led me on a extraordinary journey because I’ve lived my life how I wanted to and by no one else’s standards. So, I need not to worry about what my future holds, because I never had to. Somehow, it’ll all work out in the end, because what I’ve realized is that the universe has been waiting for me (for what seems like an eternity) to start making my own choices, create my own path; the road less traveled.This beautiful world is ripe for the picking with many wonders and excitement.

Now, I may drink a little more than recommended, make horrible decisions, but I seem to learn and grow from what I need to. Without questions, doubts or fears, I am becoming the man I need to be. Society can go fuck itself, because the “social norm” has never worked for me, the crowd parts like the Red Sea when I walk down the street, and this has been of the most beautiful things about my life. It’s all happening and it is going and will never stop. I’m on the path to spend the rest of my life chasing “It”, and I never could have asked for more. This is all I’ve ever wanted, this is all I’ve ever needed. This is all that helps me breath; to see the beautiful things, experience the amazing people, and chase what I can’t see in front of me: The great unknown.

No matter where I’ll go, who I’ll meet, I’ll know it’s the right path for me, because I’m the one who controls my life. So, I say, come on Universe, hit with your next big tragedy, because I am ready. Kick me right in the fucking teeth.

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